"Other" Major Index Follows Rankman lead with top three: Ohio State, LSU, Bama

Chris Dufresne

The first release of the College Football Playoff rankings on Tuesday was as predictable as an SEC coach saying the winless SEC team his team is about to face “might be the best team we’ll see all year.” The only drama of the first CFP was the order and even that wasn’t interesting given it’s only going to hold until Saturday at 3:30 p.m. Eastern Time. That’s when the loser of LSU at Alabama will likely drop out of the top four. Rankman, who has been rearranging college football teams since 1996, filed his weekly National Football Foundation Super 16 ballot on Saturday with a top three of Ohio State, LSU and Alabama. It matched exactly the top three produced by the esteemed CFP ranking committee. My theory held true that the love affair the USA Today voting coaches have long had with Alabama would not pass muster under closer scrutiny. The coaches’ still have Alabama at No.1 despite the fact the Tide has defeated one team with a winning record (Texas A&M). The CFP committee didn’t just put Alabama at No. 3--it issued a warning. It basically said beat LSU “or else.” It cut-blocked any notion the Crimson Tide could make the four-team playoff without winning the SEC South Division. Too bad, given that’s been Alabama’s pole position for two previous title runs under Nick Saban. Check back next week for our next look at next week’s predictable rankings. Anyone else miss the BCS?

1: Ohio State (8-0): Band also voted No.1 for their “overall consistent dominant playing in the key of C major.” (1)

2: LSU (8-0): Will protect calls from being stolen by having Orgeron scream plays using his regular speaking voice. (2)

3: Alabama (8-0): Huge traffic jams expected for stadium escort of most powerful man in state on Saturday. Trump also coming. (3)

4: Clemson (9-0): Dabo says it’s not his fault the ACC is weaker this year than the coffee at the Greenville Piggly Wiggly. (4)

5: Penn State (8-0): Nits told be very wary of “trick” plays in advance of visit to school of 10,000 fakes. (5)

6: Oregon (8-1): Most impressive takeaway from road win at USC: That pop-up sideline port-a-potty for Duck players. (8)

7: Georgia (7-1): Truth be told: having the worst loss among the first-week playoff contenders offset by having the best mascot. (9)

8: Utah (8-1): Committee chair refused to answer questions as to whether Utah was the “Jan Brady” of the first ranking. (7)

9: Oklahoma (7-1): Committee says jovial, robust and lively discussion over Sooners’ loss to Kansas State was a “real on-side kick.” (10)

10: Florida (7-2): Agree to game at “Cal” in 2027 only after climate deniers assure admin the state will still be “several feet” above sea level. (6)

11: Minnesota (8-0): Coach’s new three-year contract with $10 million buyout prompts motto change to “Row the Yacht.” (13)

12: Auburn (7-2): Sen. candidate Tuberville’s security detail for proposed visit to Iron Bowl will be led by deputy B. Fife. (11)

13: Baylor (8-0): Complaints about first ranking undercut by CFP prosecution’s star non-con witness: Stephen F. Austin. (12)

14: Michigan (7-2): If team keeps playing like this it will definitely end up in CFP’s “upper” peninsula grouping. (14)

15: Cincinnati (7-1): Committee basically said any team that scores zero while holding Ohio State to 42 is “top 20 in our book.” (NR)

16: Memphis: No. 21 in CFP matches “Do the Clam” by Elvis (1965), which peaked at No. 21 on Billboard. (NR)

Next Four Out

Notre Dame: Sportswriter sent to “lazy camp” for penning Ian’s comeback drive as “One for the Book.”

Boise State: Last week’s win craziest thing seen in San Jose since construction of Winchester House.

Wisconsin: Non-con loss to Saint Mary’s may come back to haunt…Wait, that was basketball.

Kansas State: Crushing win over KU sent Jayhawk fans rushing back to their active NCAA basketball investigation.

Next Four Never:

Rutgers: Scheduling a bye on the 150th anniversary week of playing in first college game is everything you need to know about Rutgers.

Northwestern: Worst season in years leads to series of Denny Green retrospectives and “Throwback” Weekends.

Arkansas: Hogs are two conference losses from back-to-baby back 0-8 finishes in SEC.

Akron: Team has lost to Buffalo and North Illinois this year by the combined score of 70-to-zip.

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